My living thoughts

.......

2007-08-06T18:11:00.000-07:00

I walked through the local cemetery last night
It was so quiet, everyone was at peace
I felt so welcome, so at home
there among the deceased

I begun thinking, why do I continue on
why do I inhale even one more breath
when all I dream of is the eternal slumber
that can only be brought about by death

Grief and pain are the only inhabitants
of a soul which would otherwise be an empty space
Was it time for the end?
This was the choice which I faced

After all, everyday is merely a continuation
of the one which preceded it
There have ben times when I felt slightly hopeful
but there was never any hope when I most needed it

And there is little I wish to recall
the years are wrought with sadness
I've lost my mind, a million times
but I always find it again within madness

As my heart has drifted along
I knew it could not stay afloat
with each day that passed
I felt it sink deeper in misery's boat

So there, amongst the dead
I came to the conclusion
That it was time to bring
an end to my life's illusions

The blood flowed like a river
as I took a razor to my wrist
I would have made preparations, said good-byes
but, I doubt I'll be missed

It became so cold
as everything went black
for the first time, I felt peace
because I knew there was no going back

No hope. No dreams. No anything.
I had no further reason to try
I no longer wished to live
I do not regret the decision I made to die

Scary Cabin

2006-10-19T19:35:00.000-07:00

I'm going cabin camping at Seneca Colelge at King City next week. it's a film camp.. so we're going to be filming day to night.. probably won't sleep.

and I got a glimps of the cabin we're staying in:

looks scary but it's actually quite nice inside

..............

2006-09-13T19:12:00.000-07:00

all work and no play makes Clem a dull boy
all work and no play makes Clem a dull boy
all work and no play makes Clem a dull boy
all work and no play makes Clem a dull boy
all work and no play makes Clem a dull boy
all work and no play makes Clem a dull boy
all work and no play makes Clem a dull boy
all work and no play makes Clem a dull boy
all work and no play makes Clem a dull boy
all work and no play makes Clem a dull boy
all work and no play makes Clem a dull boy
all work and no play makes Clem a dull boy
all work and no play makes Clem a dull boy
all work and no play makes Clem a dull boy
all work and no play makes Clem a dull boy
all work and no play makes Clem a dull boy
all work and no play makes Clem a dull boy
all work and no play makes Clem a dull boy
all work and no play makes Clem a dull boy
all work and no play makes Clem a dull boy
all work and no play makes Clem a dull boy
all work and no play makes Clem a dull boy
all work and no play makes Clem a dull boy
all work and no play makes Clem a dull boy
all work and no play makes Clem a dull boy
all work and no play makes Clem a dull boy
all work and no play makes Clem a dull boy
all work and no play makes Clem a dull boy
all work and no play makes Clem a dull boy
all work and no play makes Clem a dull boy
all work and no play makes Clem a dull boy
all work and no play makes Clem a dull boy
all work and no play makes Clem a dull boy
all work and no play makes Clem a dull boy
all work and no play makes Clem a dull boy
all work and no play makes Clem a dull boy
all work and no play makes Clem a dull boy
all work and no play makes Clem a dull boy
all work and no play makes Clem a dull boy
all work and no play makes Clem a dull boy
all work and no play makes Clem a dull boy
all work and no play makes Clem a dull boy
all work and no play makes Clem a dull boy
all work and no play makes Clem a dull boy

funny videos

2006-09-07T08:54:00.000-07:00

These videos might be a bit offensive but it's funny though.. haha

this is another funny one:

2006-07-08T01:46:00.000-07:00

think I'm going insane, depression is hitting me like a ton a bricks..

a few months ago I think in November, I told most people that I was going in for sugery, and I did... however the sugery was classified as being "Unsucessful", this really bothered me, and I couldn't get a good night sleep in months, so I fell into depression even more... then about 2 months ago I think, I had my body X-rayed again, and when I got the results, there was actually nothing physically wrong with me... but yet I am still in pain... I went to the doctors, and then check up after check ups.. we found out it was all psychological, and that the pain I'm feeling is a all generated in my mind caused by stress and past events of my life....

so now I'm seeking help from a psychiatrist, who's actually helping me a lot.. funny thing is I've heard of these cases before where people think they're in pain but it's just his mind telling them that... I just thought this would never happend to me.

what sucks is that this is also making my spiritual life go downhill too, since all this has happened I just didn't want to talk to God anymore, even though I still go to church and serve, I don't even know if I can still be considered a christian anymore, I drifted so far away from God and from my friends.

when I was young I always dreamed about being 20 something cuz I would have so much freedom hence I could be more happy. this isn't exactly what I had it mind and now I wish I was younger like 16 or something. I wish I can just end it all, die very soon so I can go up to heaven and then I won't be in pain anymore.

you know you're in trouble when you think there are things out there worth more than you life.....

The Fourth Horseman

2006-06-13T01:35:00.000-07:00

When He opened the fourth seal, I heard the voice of the fourth living creature saying "Come and see". So I looked, and behold, a pale horse, and the name of him who sat on it was Death, and Hades followed with him. And power was given to them over a fourth of the earth, to kill with sword, with hunger, with death, and by the beasts of the earth... revelations 6:7-9

I always wanted to be the fourth horseman..

The Prophet's Question

2006-06-05T00:00:00.000-07:00

O Lord, how long shall I cry
And You will not hear?
Even cry to you, "Violence!"
And You will not save.
Why do you show me iniquity,
And cause me to see trouble?
For plundering and violence are
before me;
There is strife, and contention arises.
Therefore the law is powerless,
And justice never goes forth,
For the wicked surround the righteous;
Therefore perverse judgement
proceeds.

Random thoughts

2006-05-31T01:38:00.000-07:00

A/C RULES!!!!

polluting the enviroment does not!!!

Depression sucks!!!

psychitrists sucks!!

turtles are cool!!!

life sucks!!!

Shannon's haircut is cool!!!

I need a haircut!!

I want to punch someone!!

I need money!!!

I am going to sleep now!!!

my mouse and keyboard is giving me a hard time!!

finally another update

2006-05-29T21:59:00.000-07:00

didn't really feel like updating these past couple of months.. been under a lot of depression lately.. and so stressed out. I feel like I don't give a crap about anything anymore..

SCAC 25th anniversary retreat was good and bad at the same time.. .good because I got what I needed.. which is a vacation and I got to here Pastor Tim's message which I have to say are excllent.. but bad because I didn't really get to bond with a lot of people... except for Nick and Chap which I talk to on regular basis but that's about it... not that I'm saying Nick and Chap aren't cool.. because they are.. but I regret not hanging and chilling with new people when I had the chance.

so many things happened these past 2 months and I can think of more bad than good... which is ridiculous... I still have a problem with that "Certain Individual" that I mentioned in my last post.. that certain individual doesn't really talk to me anymore.. and I guess it's a good thing and a bad thing too... more on the bad side... good because I don't have take crap from that person anymore.. bad because I am showing a lot of hatred towards that 'certain individual" I just hated when people need my help they act nice to me.. but when they don't they treat me like crap..

the msg on forgivness on Sunday really got into my head... as soon as the word forgivness was heard.. the first thing that came to my mind was this person... I thought it was extermly hard to forgive this person.... and I don't know if I can.. because everytime I forgive this person he/she continues to treat me like crap.

I can go on and rant about a lot more, but I feel the more I write about my bad experiences the more hatred and angry I get... so I'm done for this post

VERY PISSED!

2006-03-26T19:48:00.000-08:00

I had this thought in my head for awhile now... and I always wanted to let it out... I ain't going to mention any names but you probably know who you are and if you're reading this, good cuz I have a msg for you.. and just you ... so I'm going to say this to you right now, F*CK YOU!!!! yeah that's right... I had enough of this sh!t...

you have been doing nothing but using me for God knows how long now.... everytime you need my help.. you become the nicest person to me, but when you don't need my help you push me away, ignore me like I'm f'king thin air, and when I ask you for your help you give me nothing but attitude, by now you probably know who you are already. as far as I ever remember I have not once been mean to you.. but you know what? that's all going to change now... don't you ever f'king ask me for my help again, don't bring your troubles to me because I really don't give a sh!t if you succeed or fail.

see I usually don't say stuff like this, but I had enough.. I can't stand you anymore, I would say this to your f'king face but then you'll probably cry and make ME look like the bad guy.. which I'm not.

I feel so much better letting all that out now........

Easy Money

2006-03-14T03:12:00.000-08:00

I earned $15 today.. easy money.. haha...

anyways, this is what happened... I didn't have class today... only a project I had to hand in.. so I handed in my project and was going to head home.. but I wanted to visit my friend in his biology class..

they were dissecting pigs.. and they needed to take the heart out... my friend and I were just chatting while he was dissecting.. and then some girl tapped me on the shoulder and said "I'll give you $5 if you help me dissect this and take the heart out" she looked really grossed out so I decided to help her.. so I cut up the pig and took the heart out, I told her I didn't want the money but she insisted and forced into my pocket.. and then suprisingly 2 other girls standing beside her offered me the same deal.. so I took it.. haha... $15 right there....

it smelled bad but it was worth it.. hahaha

Deep Sleep

2006-03-13T00:24:00.000-08:00

I fell into an extremley creepy deep sleep today.... after lunch I went to the santuary planning to take a 20 minute nap.. It was like 1:30pm and was planning to wake up at like 1:50pm or 2:00pm, I lied down and I pretty much passed out... yeah lack of sleep probably does this to you.. but I can never sleep at night.. at least not anymore... anyways.. I fell into a very deep sleep, I heard my phone ringing like 3 or 4 times but I couldn't open my eyes and I thought it was a dream or something.. and then I heard a bunch of people calling my name and shaking me, but still I couldn't wake up and I thought I was dreaming.. after like, I don't even know how long I eventually woke up and I see a bunch of of 7-up kids standing beside me.. and one of them told me that my phone has been ringing forever, and then another one ask me if I was okay... I guess they knew something was wrong when I didn't respond to any sound of touch or anything.... I got up.. and I felt like I was going to faint.. and thankfully I didn't, When I woke up it was like 4:00pm alraedy .... thank God for those 7-upers, otherwise I'll probably sleeping there right now.. haha..

My opinion on the supernatural (Interview assignment)

2006-03-10T02:35:00.000-08:00

I had an interview assignment today in that paranormal and supernatrual studies class.. some interesting questions too...the person that interviewed me didn't want me to put his name down on my xanga so I'll just same "interviewer"

Interviewer: "If ghosts are real then how come only a handful of people have ever reported seeing them"?

Clem: "I've heard that question so many times... and this is the answer..we (humans) are not meant to see ghosts.. or spirits.. no it's not like the movies.. humans are only capable of feeling ghost's presence but we are not capable of seeing them with our naked eye".

Interviewer: "so what about those handful of people that has reported seeing them"?

Clem: "those people are either lying.. or going through spiritual demonic attacks... demons, I guess you can say is one of the supernatrual things a human can see with the naked eye and demons can come to you in all sorts of shapes, they can take shape of someone who is already dead.. hence when someone sees them in a form of someone who is already dead they'll think it's a ghost, and who can blame them? I mean if a person you know very well is dead and you see them walking around in your bedroom you'll probably assume it's a ghost.. either that or you've been working too hard.. haha"

Interviewer: "Have you ever felt a ghost's presence"

Clem: "I don't know, but I believe it's possible. I've been to places where people believe is haunted, and when I go in there sometimes I feel like I'm not alone. just like the time I went to the abandoned farm house in Guleph, I can swear there was something in there with me just that I couldn't see it.. I don't know if it was the presence of a ghost or something, but it was definetly something that I have never felt in my life"

Interviewer: "if you ever did see a ghost or a demon, what is the first thing you'll do"?

Clem: Run.. hell, I don't care how much the assignment is worth or how much money they give me.. I ain't going to stick around and greet the ghost for you, haha"

Interviewer: "what is the most creepiest place you ever been in Toronto?

Clem: the most creepiest place I've ever been, I have to say probably Old Finch, and some parts of U of T downtown is quite creepy too.

Interviewer: "Why Old Finch"?

Clem: because Old Finch has been around for over 100 years... its old.. and the place gets very dark at night. There's a bridge at Old Finch.. a very small bridge, they say most of the hauntings took place under that bridge.. one story, which is a ture story and I know this because it was on the news. some girl was mudered on her birthday and her body was dumped over that bridge.. when you go under that bridge you can kindda feel the sadness feeling.. I don't knwo how to describe it, you'll have to go there yourself to feel it.

Interviewer: "thanks but I don't think I'll ever go there, haha"..final question, why are the ghost here? what do they want?

Clem: "I have no idea, but I can tell you what they're NOT here for, they're not here to hurt you, I believe that ghosts are just lost spirits, why are they not in heaven? or in hell? beats me... I guess you can try asking them with EVP or Ouija board.. but I don't suggest it.. I think we should just let them rest in peace"

Interviewer: "do you have anything to add"

Clem: "Yeah.. for those people who want to try communicating with the dead, I suggest you don't, if you can hear them, it means they can hear you, and most of the time.. the person you think you might be talking to is not really who it seems.. it could be a demon trying to lure you into evil and possess you"

Interviewer: (gives me a strange look) Ok thank you for your time..

yeah weird assignment.. but I think I did pretty good on it..

Another interesting story

2006-03-08T01:44:00.000-08:00

Hide-N-Seek, or Hango-Seek as we called it, was definitely our favorite outdoor summer game, and we had many great places to play it, but the best place was "The Junk Yard". It wasn't really a junk yard, it was a fenced in place on River Street with a couple of dilapidated old wooden buildings full of holes that housed giant bales of cloth that were soon to be turned into felt. It was a busy place and the bales were changed regularly creating an always changing maze of tunnels and holes to hide in. After the workers left it was our turn.

One day George, Gary, Jimmy, Ricky and I were playing there. George was a small kid with bright red hair and there was no mistaking him for anybody else. In hide-and-seek, if you spied someone and identified them wrongly it was called a false spy and you were "IT" again. We all spied George at least once when we were it and he'd pop up somewhere else yelling "false spy, you're it again". So after four or five false spies on George we decided something funny was going on. It was pretty dark in there except for a few beams of light coming through the holes in the walls. We now started to get a bit scared and decided to get out quick. We all scrambled for the exit hole trying to be the first one out.

Unfortunately, the hole was very small and we had to exit one at a time in single file. Gary was behind me and I heard him say "Come on George, hurry up". So I turned around and noticed that George was crawling along behind us but quite a bit back. However, when I got to the hole and looked out I saw George standing outside. Well let me tell you, I almost tore the skin right off my back getting out that hole. Gary popped out next and just about dropped dead when he saw George there. We took off like scared cats. Later at Gary's house we told his mother about this and she told us a young kid with red hair suffocated there years before.

my opinion

2006-03-03T03:46:00.000-08:00

"do you believe that ghosts really exist"? I can't even begin to count how many times I've heard someone ask me that question... and my answer has always been "I don't know"... but now I've come to conclusion believing that they do exist... I just don't believe that we need to be afraid of them..

during the past year and a half , most of you probably know that I'm taking a course called "Paranormal and Supernatrual studies"... I've actually been interested in stuff like this ever since I was a kid. Do I ever get scared? yes of course, but at the same time I get a kick out of being scared too.. haha

seriously speaking though... I believe that I've probably been to most of the scariest places in Toronto, maybe even outside of Toronto too.. I've seen a lot of things, some creepy things too. .. though I've must say I have never seen a ghost before, I have had experiences where I felt like I wasn't alone... usually when I"m at places where there is a unexplained prescence or some might say "haunted".

So does studying this stuff make me a bad christian? that's another question I've been asked a few times... my answer? "no.. I don't think so" .. I mean where does it say in the bible that we cannot study about ghosts.. and supernatrual stuff... ok yeah it does say in the bible that we should stay away form evil things..

but what is it that makes people think that ghost = "evil" ? is it because how they're portrayed in movies and in books? I believe ghost are just lost spirits...now if I say demons then that's a different story... everyone should believe that demons exist..

anyways just felt like sharing my opinion on a few things... it helps me sleep sometimes

X-Files

2006-03-02T03:10:00.000-08:00

I remember when this show came out in 1993 I was in like Grade 2 I think.. I watched the first episode and then my mom didn't let me anymore cuz it was too scary.. and my mom didn't like that supernatural ghost stuff... this TV series ran for like 9 years which is amazing... So I bought the TV series on DVD and started watching from season one... and now I can understand why my parents didn't want me to watch the rest... some stuff is actually still pretty scary.. like the episodes about ghosts and all.. I think X-files is like one of the best TV series ever.. better than CSI, 24, and YES I think it's better than Smallville... haha.. I like TV shows that makes you think and creep you out at the same time.. and X-files does that.... CSI makes you think but doesn't really creep you out.

I watched like 4 episodes in one day and then I got nightmares.. haha.. yeah some of them are THAT creepy... it doesn't have those loud noises or stuff pops out of nowhere like those crappy horror movies... but the show just give you that creepy feeling.. the dark feeling...

anyone that likes Sci-fi horror stuff.. should get this DVDs.. It's probably going to take me forever to watch all 9 seasons.. one episode is about 45 mintue each and there is a total of 202 episodes.. haha

I've been hired again!! big time too

2006-02-17T02:22:00.000-08:00

so I got a call today from the york theatre manager... asking me if I wanted to help them out for some stage setup and stuff... the telephone rings:

(This is only part of the telephone convo)

theatre manager: "Hello is this Clement Li"

Clem: "Yes, this is Clem"

Theatre manager: "How are you doing"

Clem: "I"m good thank you"

Theatre Manager: " I'm Lex Calaway calling on behalf of York university to ask you if you want to help out with some stage work, I've been told you are good with using microphones, and setting up TV screens"

Clem: "I'll be glad to, depending on when"

Theatre Manager: "it'll be sometime during mid-march I don't have the exact date yet"

Clem: "Ok sure, I don't have any exams during that time so I should be fine... what's happening in mid-march"?

Theatre Manager: "there will be a private concert and party.. which will take place in the york theatre.. and there will be a band called westlife coming to preform"

Clem: "......... I'm sorry what was the name of that band"

Theatre manager: "westlife"

Clem: "Oh... ok.. that's cool.. well put me down as a YES.. then"

Theatre manager: "thx you very much, I will contact you when more information comes to me.. have a nice day"

Clem: "you too.. goodbye"

now I knew westlife is coming to Toronto.. but I didn't know they were going to be here THAT soon..I'm not a very big fan of westlife.. but hey.. I going to get paid to set up the stage for them which is pretty cool... and at the same time listen to them to see why everybody likes them so much..hahaha..

finally updated

2006-01-30T23:36:00.000-08:00

Wow.. haven't updated in so long!! but now I'm here.. it feels weird using blogger again.

I just wanted to share something that happened on Sunday.

this is also on my xanga..

(From xanga)

I was pretty depressed today.. I decided not to take my stress/depression medicine cuz I hated it.. and if other people can get by without then I should be able too. It went pretty well until after service when all that depression and stress hit me like a ton of bricks, I pretty much broke down and started crying... thankfully no one was around, (this would probably explain why I didn't go to lunch with my friends)..

I don't know what happened but all the stuff that made me depressed just poped into my head, and the thoughts of suicide being running through my mind again........

I just closed my eyes and starting getting mad at God again.. questioning why he never answers my prayers even though I keep asking him to help me get rid of this stress..

just when I was about to leave the church I found a bookmark on the floor and it had the word "Strength" on it.. and below it, it says "Don't Hurry God. The Problems that we think may DROWN us today could be the STEPPING-STONES to greater spiritual STRENGTH tomorrow"..

I'm like holy crap!! God must of made someone drop that on purpose so I would pick it up.. then all the stress/depression just went away there... and I was quite happy.... I'm so thankful that God was there with me...

Pray Until Something Happens.... I'll always remember that.

Very funny day

2005-12-18T22:55:00.000-08:00

Woke up, went to chruch... started setting up stuff for the worship team...talked to my friends.. got punched in the face by chapman (had no idea what he was doing), then Sophy couldn't stop laughing.. then I tried to make Sophy bitch slap Chap... but then I ended up getting her to punch him instead, punched him so hard that Sophy's fist hurt.. LOL.

almost fell asleep during service (Yeah I know.. I'm bad.. but I have sleeping disorders which I really hate). After service, I ate lunch, went back to the church to sleep for an hour or 2... woke up and the alram went off.. apperently someone set the security alarm on me while I was still in the church, I managed to run and deactivate it but by the time I deactivated it, it was too late.. 2 security officers came to the chruch and I had to explain to them what happened. after I went to the sound room to surf the web and chat on MSN

a few hours later people started coming in, they were having some kindda fellowship. The adults were downstairs and there were a bunch of kids upstairs.. they were running around and playing at the baptismal tank.. I told them to stop but they wouldn't listen to me.. so I did the next best thing... (this is a good thing about being a sound man) I put on one of the wireless clip on mic (Invisible mic.) The Screen was down so they were playing behind the the screen so they couldn't see me.. I quickly turned off all the lights and rolled under the seats... did my evil laugh ( and for those who've actually heard my evil laugh.. it does sound pretty creepy) and then I did my evil voice saying "what's the matter don't you want to play"? I started stalking them with my voice saying "I'm right behind you"....they just screamed and ran out of there... it was funny and at the same time I got them away from the baptismal tank. Those kids are going to have nightmares tonight.. hahaha

Interesting Story

2005-12-16T23:48:00.000-08:00

when I was six a women moved into our co-op on Pell st. My mother and her clicked really well, they would sit outside for hours at night talking. One night my mothers friend confessed her four year old son was creeped out in their new apartment and frankly she was too (hence the reason she would prefer to stay outside and talk).

She tried to dismiss it as not being used to the place, but told my mother she often felt like she wasn't alone, or would feel a draft when no windows were open. The worst room though was her sons room, it just felt like really bad vibes in that room and her son hated going in his room, he wouldn't play in there and he'd never sleep in there, he said the boogie-man in his closet would get him.

I guess this just fed into my mothers friends fear, so my mother, always the little investigator devised a plan to prove to her friend it was just new-aptartment jitters.

She said that I never complained of boogie-men or monsters so they should have me sleep over. The next night my mom and I were at her friends house, I was watching tv while they were in the kitchen (I think her son was at his dads) when I started to dose off on the couch. My mother told me to go lie down in her friends sons room. They wanted to do this when her son wasn't there so I wouldn't know about any 'boogie-man'.

I remember going in his room and lying down on the bed, the closet was a few feet beneath the foot of the bed, I just felt drawn to it or something, I couldn't stop staring at it. I started to feel very frightened and wanted to get back up but I was planted with fear.

I started whispering "There's no such thing as monsters, there's no such thing as monsters" and closed my eyes as tight as I could. But damn it, there was something in that room I could feel it at the bottom of the bed. I heard the closet door rattle or something, like a door loose when there's a draft and that was it, I flew out of that room like I was on fire. I ran right into the kitchen and said, "Mom, there's a monster in the bedroom!" My mother and her friend just looked at each other.

I started crying because I wanted to go home. My mother tells me that her friend started asking questions and found out a man hung himself in the closet, supposedly he was gay and his mother I guess out of shame became an alchoholic and when he was approved for a sex change his mother said she'd diss-own him so he killed himself.

Unfortunetly, my mom can't remember where her friend got this info so I don't know about the story's credibility. I do know however, that seventeen years later I still check the closet before I go to bed on many occasions, and the feeling I had in that room that night will be etched in my memory as long as I have it.

Silent Hill

2005-12-16T02:03:00.000-08:00

So most of you probably know that I'm been very addicted to the game Silent Hill.. it's such a cool game.. and one of the creepiest games I've ever played.. well Silent Hill 1 wasn't that scary but Silent Hill 2 which I am playing is quite scary.

I was playing it with my ex-roommate who is a girl for those of you who don't know.. everytime something scary happens (Which pretty much most of the game) she would like grab my arm.. and eventually I said "alright yo, can you like stop doing that you're creeping me out".. hahahaha.. it's cuz when somthing pops out or when you start shooting the controler vibrates too. Aside from stuff poping out of nowhere this game is psychologically creepy too.. I think the japaneses people have something to do with it.. only they can think of something this creepy.. haha

so I just finished playing and now it's like 5:09am..... I was going to wake up early to do some Christmas shopping but I don't think that's going to happen anymore.. hahaha.. probably Satruday then... I wouldn't be surprise if I accidentally bump into sophy at the mall either... haha

FREE! FREE! FREE!

2005-12-14T00:33:00.000-08:00

FINALLY CHRISTMAS BREAKS!! NO SCHOOL FOR A MONTH!!!!!!!!!! sadly though, this Thursday I'm going to have to attend ANOTHER funeral which makes it the 9th funeral this year... I don't even know if I should go....... I was invited but I'm seriously sick of seeing the people I know past away... well at least I know they're at a better place now. R.I.P

My Personal Journal

2005-12-12T22:35:00.000-08:00

Yes, this blogger is for my personal life.. for those of you who don't know, I have another blogger that is dedicated to movies. filmfreakclem.blogspot.com and yes I also have xanga, but this is for people who use blogger and not xanga.

So one more exam until Christmas holidays. I should feel happy... but yet I'm not. Come to think about it, 2005 is the worse year of my life. I went to a total of 8 funerals this year, had to undergo surgery, got into a lot of arguments with people.

The only time that I'm happy now is when I'm at church. This Sunday which is the 18th I will have been attended SCAC for exactly 17 years.

I get stressed out from school work, personal conflicts with people, pain, and lack of sleep. but everytime I walk through that that door to SCAC all the pain goes away. I start to smile, laugh and feel very welcomed.

Well most of you probably know that I stay at church later than most people. It's cuz I feel so much better when I'm there than at home or at my university dorm. I feel that SCAC is pretty much my family.

Thxs for all of you who have sticked by me.