finally updated

Wow.. haven't updated in so long!! but now I'm here.. it feels weird using blogger again.

I just wanted to share something that happened on Sunday.

this is also on my xanga..

(From xanga)

I was pretty depressed today.. I decided not to take my stress/depression medicine cuz I hated it.. and if other people can get by without then I should be able too. It went pretty well until after service when all that depression and stress hit me like a ton of bricks, I pretty much broke down and started crying... thankfully no one was around, (this would probably explain why I didn't go to lunch with my friends)..

I don't know what happened but all the stuff that made me depressed just poped into my head, and the thoughts of suicide being running through my mind again........

I just closed my eyes and starting getting mad at God again.. questioning why he never answers my prayers even though I keep asking him to help me get rid of this stress..

just when I was about to leave the church I found a bookmark on the floor and it had the word "Strength" on it.. and below it, it says "Don't Hurry God. The Problems that we think may DROWN us today could be the STEPPING-STONES to greater spiritual STRENGTH tomorrow"..

I'm like holy crap!! God must of made someone drop that on purpose so I would pick it up.. then all the stress/depression just went away there... and I was quite happy.... I'm so thankful that God was there with me...

Pray Until Something Happens.... I'll always remember that.